i'm sitting here listening to josh and ella reading books through the baby monitor as he's putting her down to bed and i can't help but feel so completely and utterly blessed for my life and all God has provided. I have an amazing husband who is an amazing father to our amazing daughter. There is no greater feeling for a mother and a wife. Life is good....real good.

ella days

when i was a kid, i had really jacked up teeth. i mean really jacked up. so naturally, i had braces. once a month, i had to go to the orthodontist to get my braces tightened and man they hurt afterwards. so my mom would take me to the dairy bar for some ice cream after my appointments. it was bliss.

today i decided to introduce ella to the dairy bar. i think we were there a whopping 10 minutes before she was bored with the place, as well as the ice cream. but it was a fun ten minutes! me being the person that i am, you will notice that ella had a nice, small bowl of vanilla ice cream. it's less likely to stain that cute shirt she's wearing. :) we had an absolute blast. days at home with mommy are for spoiling! i may have heck with it later, but i just can't resist "Mommy, peas!" she also has some sign language that goes along with "peas", but it's not the right gesture. she thinks it means please and that's all that matters.

we also took our first trip to the public library today. let's just say, that was a mistake. ella was such a little hoodlum. she was running around screaming (for joy, but loudly so still inappropriate) and pulling all the books off of the shelf. i was a tad embarrassed, but we were able to make it out with one book. as we were checking out, the nice lady behind the counter informed me that we could always reserve our books online and "on the days that i just need it" i can come in with my card and they will have them ready for me. :) she was nice. and i will definitely do that next time.

i really enjoy my 2.5 days a week at home with ella. i'm so blessed to have a job where i can just decide what days i want to come in and what days i want to stay home. i can just switch to part-time because i want to (and because we've made shortcuts in order to make it happen financially). i love my days at work and i love my days at home. i really feel like i get the best of both worlds. i don't find myself at odds with ella very often and i enjoy every second that i am with her. even the time-outs. i think it's because i've found some balance in my life. i know that will change because balance never stays very long, but i will make sure to enjoy it while it's here.

and so it begins

okay well i started this blog over a month ago. i was waiting to post it so that i could get a super cute picture of ella on the potty, but that hasn't happened (and may never happen) yet. maybe soon. i'm so behind.

Started 8/8/2009:
the potty training has commenced! after having a potty in ella's room for a few months now, she has never really been too interested. so, i decided to try something different. instead of having the little miniature potty that sings when you pee on it (something we have not yet witnessed and i am unwilling to give it a test round!), I put the little potty seat on the actually potty in ella's bathroom. she has a little step stool and it is so much fun for her to climb up and sit on the big girl potty. so we spend lots of time during the day up in her bathroom, she on the potty and me on the floor right in front of her. ella's new thing is whispering, so we will whisper conversations back and forth and then we sing songs. i made up a tinkle song and every time i sing it, it's different but she still loves it. so anyways, wednesday night after sitting on the potty for about 10 minutes, she finally peed! as she was going, she whispered "listen". And when she stopped, she looks at me and says "again". It was so funny! So she's gone tee tee a few times now and everytime it's like she's moved mountains!

right now i'm torn with where to go next....i've read that if you use pull-ups it can slow down the whole process and then if you just let them run around your house for a week peeing on themselves and the floor and anything else that they are near, it will go faster. so i'm thinking i'm going to try to find something a little in between. first step, we're going to make a "potty box" that stays in the bathroom. it's going to have magnets and a magnetic board and a few other things that she can play with, but only while she's on the potty. we will see if it actually works (it does by the way).

in other ella news, she is no longer figuring out how to talk. she's full out talking. her new phrase is "i don't like it". it does sound more like "ah-own like it" but you have to get the texas accent going...really drag it out.

i don't really know how to start my next blog. i realize that it's just a blog, but it seems like every day that passes is one day further away from jon. if i write my next blog, then that means i've moved on. i know that really isn't the case, but that's the way it feels. every day, something happens that makes me think about him. or another story gets told with "jon and i...." or "remember when jon..." or "i can't believe when jon...". if feels like moving on means moving on without him, even though there's nothing i can do to change that fact that he isn't here anymore. i will watch ella reading her books or splashing in the bathtub and it makes me sad that jon won't ever get to experience these things that i treasure so much with my own daughter. my earthly mind cannot comprehend heaven, so i am stuck in this mindset that he's missing out on so much. my faith tries to convince me otherwise.

so to move on, most of my favorite memories are from our time in the army. we were so young (and stupid) and we had so much fun. when josh and i were dating, i spent my spring break during my senior year in college to go visit josh. he lived in the barracks. he knew no one. he had no car. he'd only been at fort campbell for a couple of weeks and jon was home on leave. so i had to come keep him company. i know, i had to right? :) but josh had to work all day. the army doesn't get a spring break. well being on an army base and not having a car or anyone else around, it got rather boring. i laid on josh's cot and listened to a lot of matchbox twenty and three doors down. and being the "girl" that i am, i figured i might pass some time by playing "dress up". this was fun. josh came back in time to take a picture. and boy was that heavy.

that time period holds so many fond memories for me. i got to spend so much time with two of my best friends. it was definitely a special time.