Layla Grace

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

After becoming a mother, I learned that I had never before been so vulnerable. During the early stages of my marriage, I had to deal with wondering if I would ever see my husband again. Saying goodbye to him the morning he left for Iraq was excruciating. I remember because the Christmas right before he left for Iraq, it was 2004 and it snowed on Christmas Eve. I remember thinking that day that this was the best it was ever going to get for us. I just knew he wouldn't make it back from that deployment. Call me a glass half empty kind of girl, but that was the way I interpreted life at the time. It's funny because just recently I was talking to my dad and that Christmas came up and my dad said to me that when it snowed on Christmas Eve, he just knew at that moment that the next year for Josh was going to be okay. I've worried for his life a lot. A whole lot. But it doesn't even compare to the fear I have over my daughter. I'm working on letting go of the fear. I fear for her safety and her health. If something happened to Josh, I would have been devastated but I would have gotten through it. If something ever happened to Ella, I honestly don't think my heart could take it. She is a piece of me. She is part of my heart and part of my soul. She is the reason that I want to be a better person. She deserves the best from me.

I came across this blog the other day and it really put all of my needs and wants into perspective. It is actually a blog on a blog that I follow. I don't know these people at all, but the moment I clicked on that link and read the first post, I absolutely could not control my emotions. I wanted to close the tab. I wanted to stop reading. I could not handle the despair that this family is going through right at this very second. But I realized that while I didn't want to read this, this woman didn't want to LIVE this. I am so thankful for the health of my baby girl, but I am guilty that this woman has to feel this ultimate pain. And I think about Mary watching Jesus suffer. I don't know how mothers can go through such torture. Kill me, give me cancer, but spare my child. It hit me that all of the things that I go through that seem hard are nothing compared to what this woman is going through. I'm sure she'd take a million fits at the doctor's office for more time with her. She'd endure a million fights with her husband if it meant more time. I am heartbroken for this family. I urge you all to pray without ceasing for Layla. I pray that God gives her peace during her final months. I pray that God gives that mother and father the strenth and the grace needed to get through it. Please join me in prayer for Layla Grace.

Jill's Wedding!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Ella got to be in her first wedding in November. One of my best friends, Jill, got married to a really amazing guy named Matt. I'm so happy for them! I was a little nervous when Jill asked if Ella would be her flower girl. Ella is definitely good at throwing a major fit. If Ella doesn't want to do it, Ella doesn't do it. So luckily Jill understood that everything might not go according to plan. Well, she ending up doing pretty good. Our bridesmaid dresses had pockets in them, which is where i stored the candy. She walked down the aisle and ran up to Daddy when she saw him on the second row. It was too cute.

Josh and Ella spent a lot of time at the hotel while the bridesmaids helped Jill with some last minute preparations. Look at how nice she is to share her "nogurt" with hippo.
She really did look just like an angel.

Wrapping up 2009

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Picture Overload!!! :)

Okay, so i got too busy (or too distracted) to sit down and blog about the fun things that ella and i did to wrap up 2009 and close off her second year of life. it had some pretty difficult moments for the both of us. ella has really been figuring out how to behave during her terrible two's and my first trimester of this pregnancy really kicked my butt. so it was a bad combo! but we still managed to have a BLAST in between all of those fits. there is nothing else in this world that i treasure as much as her. she is my heart. so here are some (okay, a lot) of pictures to sum up the end of 2009. and have i mentioned before how much i love working part time and getting to be home with her so much? i wouldn't trade those days for the world!


at the sea center in lake jackson. ella loved "finding nemo" in the fish tanks :)

and here is PROOF that she really did LOVE the big bouncy bus. just not at her own party...

we went to the pumpkin patch in october. she picked out her own two little pumpkins. her favorite part was me pulling her in the wagon.

Ella was too sick to go to school on halloween for her halloween party. so we went trick-or-treating at the courthouse instead. that girl racked up so much candy, it was crazy. she was also very good at going up to people and saying "chick or cheat". i love her.


ella got her very first black eye! she fell down at mimi and grandad's house and her eye met the corner of a concrete step. she only cried for a minute. she's so tough. also, here is where we currently stand on the potty training front. the potty is a place to store her dollies...not to pee.

wild hair days!


we always have so much fun at mimi and grandad's house. grandad taught her what a piece of straw is REALLY for. and the ever fun hay bail shot!

This picture is my absolute favorite. Just look at how much fun those kids are having! I love action shots!

We had Christmas Eve at Nonnie's house and boy that was fun. With three grandkids all in their two's, it was a madhouse! I love watching all those kids play! Alley, Jeff, and Wade are so good to the little kids.

And finally, Christmas morning! We had a wonderful Christmas and ella was very excited about santa this year. I have a feeling we're going to have to be a lot sneakier next year :)