Friday, May 25, 2012

I am almost finished with my first week as a stay-at-home-mom and I am loving it.  And I'm a mostly-stay-at-home-mom who still works on Fridays and whenever I can sneak in a few hours every day at home to keep up.  It hit me about a month ago that next school year is my last year with Ella before kindergarten.  I can't even believe I'm saying that.  This is it for Ella and me.  After this year, everything changes.  I'm dreading it completely.  I wish I could say I'm looking forward to the changes and seeing her learn and grow and enter society, but I hate it.  Around the same time that I started worrying about not having enough time with her, Ella started becoming unhappy at school and Sadie started crying again every morning when I would drop her off.  I was realizing that they weren't happy at school and I wasn't satisfied with only being with them two days a week.  I started wondering if I'd be able to do it.  Would I be able to scale back my hours and still get everything done?  I wouldn't have been able to pull the girls out of preschool while they were happy there.  I've never been one of those moms who thinks I'm super qualified and better at raising kids than the teachers at LHA.  I feel like they are much more qualified (and patient) than me!  But the girls got unhappy for some reason, so we took the plunge.  After talking it through with a few people and getting some suggestions, the girls last day of preschool was last Friday.  It was sad to pick up their pillows, blankets, and everything.  Walking out of that door was hard for me.  This place had taken such good care of my babies for two and a half years.  Wonderful memories and friendships since before Ella could even talk.  I was so grateful for their care and attention to my children.  Needless to say, this week was quite an adjustment.  Monday and Tuesday were terrible.  Wednesday and Thursday were wonderful.  Today, I miss them while I'm at work, but I like being here and having conversations and basically being part of the world again.  But I'm looking forward to Monday again.  I think it's going to work out just fine.  I also think that Monday and Tuesday were a little more difficult because we were starting our second week with Daddy being out of town.  I was a little worn out and they really miss him.  Thank goodness he gets to fly home for the weekend.  It's going to be so great to spend the time with him, even if it is only for a few days.  Bring on this next chapter of life.  So far, so good.


1 comments:

g+j said...

Welcome to the club, dear friend. It's a crazy rollercoaster that literally fluctuates on an hour by hour basis for me, but I love it and couldn't imagine being anywhere else other than home with my kids. :)